The last week has been a difficult one for me with feelings of uneasiness dominating my heart and soul. I have found myself constantly fighting with my thoughts and my inner being. I have so much to say but for some reason, words are just not materializing. Peacefulness has been hard to achieve so I have been reminding myself often to savor the little joys, the little moments in life.
Lately, I’ve lost myself within some pressures at work and some that I’ve created for myself personally. I’m striving to focus on balancing my work and personal life so that I can nurture my relationships, and at the same time achieve my personal and professional goals. While I’m working relentlessly hard to make my dreams a reality and plan for the future, I need to remember to be okay with where I am in the moment.
The last two nights, I’ve felt as if all my energy has been sucked out leaving me physically and mentally drained — over-tired, over-worked and over-informed. I need to remember to live in the moment and take one step at a time, one day at a time. At times, I’m giving a pep talk to myself to relax and forgive myself for some mistakes I’ve made lately. Sometimes it’s easy to forgive, sometimes not.
With all this struggling, I’ve really been missing comforting hugs of close, loved ones. I’m missing the physical presence of my best friend. I know that God has angels watching over me and some walking by my side; but for some reason in this moment, I just can’t feel the gentle arms of God around me holding me close and telling me that I will get through this like I have with all the other battles in my life.
“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”
-Robert Muller
I must muster the strength to forgive myself. Only then can I be at peace with myself and with others around me. And although peace may be forthcoming, it sure is taking quite some time.
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