Knowing The Difference

Life throws me so many curveballs when I least expect it. One day can be almost perfect and another day, BAM!! I will feel like I have been shot to hell wondering where I went wrong. And I think to myself: “Wouldn’t it be nice if my life had a pause button?”

I have learned a valuable lesson this week with my never-ending struggle of knowing the things that I actually have control over and those that I do not, which I cannot change. A few recent situations led me to harbor some unresolved emotions which invaded my mind and soul leaving me incredibly frustrated, defeated and despondent. Today, I realized once again that I need to stop. I’ve reminded myself countless times that I have absolutely no control over other’s perceptions, beliefs and behavior — I simply cannot change them; instead I can adjust my attitude and feelings towards the situations, and just let it be.

It is during this on-going battle of my internal struggle that I find myself repeatedly murmuring the Serenity Prayer and trying to remember its essence.

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference. 
 

Time after time, the wisdom part is what I stumble over the most — knowing what I can change and what I  cannot, knowing what I should do and should not, knowing when to keep going and when to stop.  I think that knowing the difference is a life-long process as life is full of trials and tribulations that everyone experiences in their own way. Through these constant distressful moments, I strive to be braver and stronger than the times before, and to face turbulent situations with impeccable courage. I realize that there are times when it is best for me to just close my eyes and let everything go. I need to let the Higher Power have control.

When the going gets tough, it is often difficult for me to remain positive. I cannot control what will happen tomorrow or a week or a year down the road — the only thing I have control over is this very moment. What I can control are my reactions to and thoughts about certain situations. I am the one who decides whether my glass is half-full or half-empty.  In this moment, I would rather enjoy the opportunities I have to better myself and my relationships, and to cherish the little things in life instead of wasting time worrying about uncontrollable circumstances and further weakening myself. I can already feel an overwhelming sense of peace and calmness through understanding and accepting this yet again.

Nothing is always perfect, not everything will go my way. Sometimes, there is a greater plan in play. Life will continue to throw these curveballs at me but I have to be sure to hit them out of the park. I have a lot to be thankful for today, especially for knowing the difference.

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